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So, you've seen this by now
A five year old boy dressed up as Daphne from Scooby-Doo for Halloween, and he got teased not by his classmates, but by their mothers.
They're now on 410+ pages of comments.
1. It's true that "dressing up like a girl won't make him gay". However, being "gay" isn't what his mother is (or isn't, rather) "worried" about here. Sexual orientation != gender identity. (I eventually made that comment after seeing several iterations of gay/not gay/liking boys in the comments, but I hate doing that. I always feel like I shouldn't as I'm not gay or transgendered myself, but then I figure it's better than letting people be wrong.)
Of course, dressing up like Daphne for a single Halloween does not mean he is transgendered, and it certainly won't make him transgendered either. (And if he is transgendered (or gay) there's nothing wrong with that, etc, but at least most of the commenters are clear on that!)
2. It's true that five is a little young to say "My son is gay!" with absolute confidence. However, it's not true that children are nowhere on the gay/straight continuum at that age. Think back to your childhood. Didn't you have a crush or two sometime before puberty? Somebody on my FList, her young daughter, in preschool, has an obvious crush on the boy next door. Both nieces have had one already. Sure, it's not the same as when you're older, but the feelings are already there. Nobody thinks this is particularly unusual, either. Not every child will have these feelings that that young age - for many it will happen closer to puberty, or after even (and let's not get into asexuality) - but plenty do.
3. If you're going to quote the Bible, don't be a hypocrite. I don't want to hear about "men's and women's clothes" unless you can tell me with absolute assurance what God thinks men and women should wear (and, more accurately, what the writers of the OT thought). I also don't want to hear it unless you have this exact same reaction to little girls wearing pants. I don't want to hear about "abominations" unless you can promise me you never eat bacon, shrimp, or cheeseburgers. And if you can't, I don't want to hear anything until you go back to your New Testament (all these Bible quoters seem to be Christian) and take a good look at any of the numerous passages on hypocrisy. Jesus sure talked about it a lot. Sounds like it's pretty important.
Oh, and there are two more worth-reading links I stole from the comments there (there may be more, I haven't begun to try to read them all!)
Clicky!
Clicky!
I'm not going to spoil these with summaries, but they're cheerful and fluffy and worth reading. (Does anybody have a link to that metaquotes post with the class of kiddies on a school trip and the uncle's boyfriend who brings over cookies?)
Edit: I'm still wading through the comments in hopes of getting more gems like this. Most of them are good. Some of them...
Like, there's this woman posting "Well, nobody says anything when women dress like sluts for Halloween, at least you taught your kid that judging people is wrong!"
Um. Yeah. So long as we're all clear that judging people is wrong, can we stop calling other women sluts? I'm thinking maybe that's not very nice...?
They're now on 410+ pages of comments.
1. It's true that "dressing up like a girl won't make him gay". However, being "gay" isn't what his mother is (or isn't, rather) "worried" about here. Sexual orientation != gender identity. (I eventually made that comment after seeing several iterations of gay/not gay/liking boys in the comments, but I hate doing that. I always feel like I shouldn't as I'm not gay or transgendered myself, but then I figure it's better than letting people be wrong.)
Of course, dressing up like Daphne for a single Halloween does not mean he is transgendered, and it certainly won't make him transgendered either. (And if he is transgendered (or gay) there's nothing wrong with that, etc, but at least most of the commenters are clear on that!)
2. It's true that five is a little young to say "My son is gay!" with absolute confidence. However, it's not true that children are nowhere on the gay/straight continuum at that age. Think back to your childhood. Didn't you have a crush or two sometime before puberty? Somebody on my FList, her young daughter, in preschool, has an obvious crush on the boy next door. Both nieces have had one already. Sure, it's not the same as when you're older, but the feelings are already there. Nobody thinks this is particularly unusual, either. Not every child will have these feelings that that young age - for many it will happen closer to puberty, or after even (and let's not get into asexuality) - but plenty do.
3. If you're going to quote the Bible, don't be a hypocrite. I don't want to hear about "men's and women's clothes" unless you can tell me with absolute assurance what God thinks men and women should wear (and, more accurately, what the writers of the OT thought). I also don't want to hear it unless you have this exact same reaction to little girls wearing pants. I don't want to hear about "abominations" unless you can promise me you never eat bacon, shrimp, or cheeseburgers. And if you can't, I don't want to hear anything until you go back to your New Testament (all these Bible quoters seem to be Christian) and take a good look at any of the numerous passages on hypocrisy. Jesus sure talked about it a lot. Sounds like it's pretty important.
Oh, and there are two more worth-reading links I stole from the comments there (there may be more, I haven't begun to try to read them all!)
Clicky!
Clicky!
I'm not going to spoil these with summaries, but they're cheerful and fluffy and worth reading. (Does anybody have a link to that metaquotes post with the class of kiddies on a school trip and the uncle's boyfriend who brings over cookies?)
Edit: I'm still wading through the comments in hopes of getting more gems like this. Most of them are good. Some of them...
Like, there's this woman posting "Well, nobody says anything when women dress like sluts for Halloween, at least you taught your kid that judging people is wrong!"
Um. Yeah. So long as we're all clear that judging people is wrong, can we stop calling other women sluts? I'm thinking maybe that's not very nice...?
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And that story about the little boy wearing a dress to the wedding party is awesome. :D
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I think some anger at the pop culture got displaced onto the women wearing the costumes there.
Heaven knows I've been disgusted with adult costumes for years, and this was only reinforced a couple years back when I was persuaded to accompany a friend to an evening with a "costume contest". My costume wasn't that imaginative, but when we got there the advertised contest turned into a "SEXIEST costume contest." There was no point in either of us even entering, since the majority of the entrants appeared to have purchased their outfits from "Vinyl R US" (http://www.dominatrixlingerie.com/product_info.php?cPath=53&products_id=1290). (Snow white...miniskirted, stiletto-heeled, vinyl dress. Little Red Riding Hood...miniskirted, stiletto-heeled, vinyl dress. Dorothy from Wizard of Oz--miniskirted, etc., with gingham-print vinyl dress.)
The only options for a purchased costume seem to be either the "look what I got" or bathrobe model (and even with the bathrobe tailoring, the women's are frequently low-cut).
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It's really such blatantly misogynistic message we send out as a culture.
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#2 = M's crush? :) She used to say "I'm gonna marry a gee-yal!" all the time, but then she decided on the neighbor's son instead. She HATES it when DH and I kiss, though. She calls it "getting married" and begs us not to get married, or declares, "I HATE when you get married." Who knows if it's age, sexuality, or just a feeling she gets about it, but it doesn't really matter.
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