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Some people seem to have gotten the impression that Ana is Perfect.
While she certainly is a darling, let me hasten to correct this idea.
Ana does say please. However, she only consistently says it when she wants something she can't have. "Ana, no touch stove!" "Pleeeeeeeeze?" *sighs* The rest of the time, it's a toss-up as to whether or not we have to prompt her.
Ana, when saying please for something she can't have, has an annoying tendancy to whine.
Ana does cover her mouth when coughing or sneezing, because I started her on that out of a fit of passion (I mean, baby germs, ew), but afterwards she tends to wipe her hands on clothes - ours, for preference. Ditto for when she's just touched something she shouldn't.
Yesterday, I built a huge block tower with every one of her alphabet blocks (four of them made the base, so it was really only 23 blocks high), and Ana came in, saw it, went "ooooohhhhh" and knocked it over on top of me. It was stable and everything!
Ana snatches things from other people. All the time.
Ana is really very bossy. "You go to sleep!" "You stay in ticken!" "SING! STOP SING! SING!" and so on.
Ana's passion for throwing things out means that we have to watch her to make sure she doesn't throw out, say, her toy dog at the zoo because she's bored, or *my food* because she doesn't want to eat it.
When you tell Ana to Stop Biting Now, her reaction is to cry and try harder to bite you, saying "I bite! I bite!" just like, in happier times, she goes "I help! I help!" when we want to put the cap back on the water bottle.
Ditto for hitting and kicking.
Ana likes to splash water on people. Okay, so do I, but that's not the point.
Ana is, in short, quite annoying at times. Far from perfect. I just don't talk about it much because, really, she's going to be embarassed enough when she's old enough to google for herself.
Ana does say please. However, she only consistently says it when she wants something she can't have. "Ana, no touch stove!" "Pleeeeeeeeze?" *sighs* The rest of the time, it's a toss-up as to whether or not we have to prompt her.
Ana, when saying please for something she can't have, has an annoying tendancy to whine.
Ana does cover her mouth when coughing or sneezing, because I started her on that out of a fit of passion (I mean, baby germs, ew), but afterwards she tends to wipe her hands on clothes - ours, for preference. Ditto for when she's just touched something she shouldn't.
Yesterday, I built a huge block tower with every one of her alphabet blocks (four of them made the base, so it was really only 23 blocks high), and Ana came in, saw it, went "ooooohhhhh" and knocked it over on top of me. It was stable and everything!
Ana snatches things from other people. All the time.
Ana is really very bossy. "You go to sleep!" "You stay in ticken!" "SING! STOP SING! SING!" and so on.
Ana's passion for throwing things out means that we have to watch her to make sure she doesn't throw out, say, her toy dog at the zoo because she's bored, or *my food* because she doesn't want to eat it.
When you tell Ana to Stop Biting Now, her reaction is to cry and try harder to bite you, saying "I bite! I bite!" just like, in happier times, she goes "I help! I help!" when we want to put the cap back on the water bottle.
Ditto for hitting and kicking.
Ana likes to splash water on people. Okay, so do I, but that's not the point.
Ana is, in short, quite annoying at times. Far from perfect. I just don't talk about it much because, really, she's going to be embarassed enough when she's old enough to google for herself.
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I was just kind of pointing out how some kids LOOK ok, just like Anna even! But might not be...and it's not like I meant it struck a nerve as in you were on my nerve, but now as everything is crashing down with the realization that Ted Is Not Okay, the parents I thought were just not doing their job might have been dealing with an entirely different set of circumstances.
PEople still come up to me and tell me how wonderful K is! Little do they know the child I have to deal with sometimes...whoooboy 10 year old girls are fun!
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*hugs more*
I hope things go well for you and your family, even with the difficulties.
Little do they know the child I have to deal with sometimes
Not to turn everything into a talk about MEMEME!!!!! but that's what my mom says about my childhood. They knew I wasn't normal, they tried to get a diagnosis for me - but the doctors, who *didn't* know me, either gave me diagnoses of things which were clearly not right, or would smile and say "oh, she's fine, she's just very bright and a bit quiet", which wasn't right. They didn't see me screaming, crying, kicking and having my mom hold me down at ten years old, they didn't see the fact that I couldn't tie my shoes or wear certain fabrics, or, when it came to that, pick out my clothes in the morning (after we moved to SI, I strongly remember mornings being hell on my parents because of the fact that I had to get dressed. I'm not sure if I was like that before the move, but for a while I couldn't do that on my own), they barely even saw that when I was little, I could speak but people didn't understand me. Honestly, I'm surprised they didn't just scream.
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Maybe if I posted about Ted someone would have seen signs before I did. :/
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Maybe if I posted about Ted someone would have seen signs before I did. :/
That can be a double-edged sword. I have friends who always point out that one thing or another of mine is "an autistic thing" (or something similar), which could be wrong in the situation (my speech problems could've been because of being on the spectrum, or they could've been because of my very crooked teeth). I know I'm prone to jumping and saying "gee, that's so autistic" about things even when, really, I don't have that evidence.
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He has good and bad moments, and some that make us think it's autism, and some that make us think it's his ears...which is why this is so #$%@#! important to get him evaluated. (He had a lot of ear infections compared to the other two and they often wound up in burst eardrums -- so scarring is a possibililty. So could a host of other things I bet from not having enough oxygen for his first 2 weeks of life. Well he had enough but it was constantly adjusted and monitored until he was able to breathe on his own. Anyways.)
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It could be both, of course. If you're thinking autism, once the hearing tests have been done, I could suggest some resources for you that can be helpful.
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And back to going out and things -- I do avoid taking kids out when I think they will bother people (and that goes for all of them) but it's such a balance, you don't want to isolate them either. But I find myself getting very upset/impatient when Ted doesn't act nice enough, or talk, or focus -- I want to protect him from the world but in the long run that doesn't help (and in the short run the trips out do seem to make him feel better).
That's life -- every time you think you have it all figured out, something new comes along...
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I don't know whether I can be helpful or not, but if you're willing I would like to try.
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Colin bit me once. I screamed, as loudly as I could, "OUCH!" at him. He never bit me again. Admitted, he was just under two, and it may not work on someone Ana's age, but it may be worth a try.
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But she doesn't stop biting and hitting - us, herself, her bears, the nearest item to her....
What I *do* do when she's hitting is go, very patiently "Ana? Do you want us to hit you?" "No, no hit! *hithithit*" "Is it all right if we hit you, Ana?" "NO HIT! *hithithit*" "Then stop hitting me now, Anababy." "*stops hitting*"
I'm not sure if she's swayed by the logic or the implied threat....
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I was just kind of pointing out how some kids LOOK ok, just like Anna even! But might not be...and it's not like I meant it struck a nerve as in you were on my nerve, but now as everything is crashing down with the realization that Ted Is Not Okay, the parents I thought were just not doing their job might have been dealing with an entirely different set of circumstances.
PEople still come up to me and tell me how wonderful K is! Little do they know the child I have to deal with sometimes...whoooboy 10 year old girls are fun!
no subject
*hugs more*
I hope things go well for you and your family, even with the difficulties.
Little do they know the child I have to deal with sometimes
Not to turn everything into a talk about MEMEME!!!!! but that's what my mom says about my childhood. They knew I wasn't normal, they tried to get a diagnosis for me - but the doctors, who *didn't* know me, either gave me diagnoses of things which were clearly not right, or would smile and say "oh, she's fine, she's just very bright and a bit quiet", which wasn't right. They didn't see me screaming, crying, kicking and having my mom hold me down at ten years old, they didn't see the fact that I couldn't tie my shoes or wear certain fabrics, or, when it came to that, pick out my clothes in the morning (after we moved to SI, I strongly remember mornings being hell on my parents because of the fact that I had to get dressed. I'm not sure if I was like that before the move, but for a while I couldn't do that on my own), they barely even saw that when I was little, I could speak but people didn't understand me. Honestly, I'm surprised they didn't just scream.
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Maybe if I posted about Ted someone would have seen signs before I did. :/
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Maybe if I posted about Ted someone would have seen signs before I did. :/
That can be a double-edged sword. I have friends who always point out that one thing or another of mine is "an autistic thing" (or something similar), which could be wrong in the situation (my speech problems could've been because of being on the spectrum, or they could've been because of my very crooked teeth). I know I'm prone to jumping and saying "gee, that's so autistic" about things even when, really, I don't have that evidence.
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He has good and bad moments, and some that make us think it's autism, and some that make us think it's his ears...which is why this is so #$%@#! important to get him evaluated. (He had a lot of ear infections compared to the other two and they often wound up in burst eardrums -- so scarring is a possibililty. So could a host of other things I bet from not having enough oxygen for his first 2 weeks of life. Well he had enough but it was constantly adjusted and monitored until he was able to breathe on his own. Anyways.)
no subject
It could be both, of course. If you're thinking autism, once the hearing tests have been done, I could suggest some resources for you that can be helpful.
no subject
And back to going out and things -- I do avoid taking kids out when I think they will bother people (and that goes for all of them) but it's such a balance, you don't want to isolate them either. But I find myself getting very upset/impatient when Ted doesn't act nice enough, or talk, or focus -- I want to protect him from the world but in the long run that doesn't help (and in the short run the trips out do seem to make him feel better).
That's life -- every time you think you have it all figured out, something new comes along...
no subject
I don't know whether I can be helpful or not, but if you're willing I would like to try.
no subject
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Colin bit me once. I screamed, as loudly as I could, "OUCH!" at him. He never bit me again. Admitted, he was just under two, and it may not work on someone Ana's age, but it may be worth a try.
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But she doesn't stop biting and hitting - us, herself, her bears, the nearest item to her....
What I *do* do when she's hitting is go, very patiently "Ana? Do you want us to hit you?" "No, no hit! *hithithit*" "Is it all right if we hit you, Ana?" "NO HIT! *hithithit*" "Then stop hitting me now, Anababy." "*stops hitting*"
I'm not sure if she's swayed by the logic or the implied threat....
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