So, apparently the big way to support the troops this year comes from the administration itself...

[conuly]

Hang a flag for independance!

*blinks*

Characters

Lauren Shrub, a typical suburban housewife. She supports the troops, and this war.
Fred Shrub, her typical suburban husband. He supports the troops, and this war.
Jennifer Shrub, their typical 18-year old daughter. She just graduated. She supports the troops, and this war.
The troops, a faceless mass. They're supported.
Others, to be named as the play progresses.

TELEVISION: This just in! In order to support the troops in this patriotic war, you are commanded by our Great Leader to hang a flag on Independance Day! Hang a flag to support the troops!

LAUREN: Why, that's a good idea! I sure do support those troops! I wonder why I didn't think of this before? (hops into big-ass SUV and drives 10 blocks to purchase a flag)

Several days later...

FLAG: Oh, it's so bright and sunny! I love the weather! I pledge allegience, to myself....

TELEVISION: Flag sales have reached record highs! The names of all those who refuse to participate have most certainly not been recorded, and their library records have not been pulled up! Really!

FRED: Boy, howdy, that was a good idea! You know what we need? We need bumper stickers for our cars! You girls drive down to the fireworks without me, I'll pick up some bumper stickers! (family gets into two different big-ass SUVs and drives to various locations)

SUN: (sets)

FLAG: Oh, wowee, fireworks! Um, hey, does anybody else think it's getting dark out here? I haven't been left out all night, have I? I'm scared of the dark! HEEEEEEEELP!

SHRUB FAMILY: (various patriotic words as they watch the fireworks display. All rise to sing national anthem. All fail to do so.)

TROOPS: Wow, look at all those flags. We sure do feel supported out here! Thanks guys!

Several days later...

FLAG: Look at me... all alone... by myself... for days now. Can I come in yet? I promise I'll be good! Please? PLEASE?

RECRUITER (on the phone): Hello, I'm told this is the Shrub household, is that correct? And you have a daughter who has just graduated high school? Yes, I'd like to talk to you about joining the military! It's a great... hello? Hello? Did you just hang up on me?

JENNIFER: I'm not joining the icky military! It's dirty, and hard work, and I could die! Or break a nail! I mean, sure, I support the troops, and yes, we belong there... but everyone knows that the army is made up of poor people, and I'm just not poor! (hops into her own SUV and goes to the mall)

Several months later....

FLAG: Please... let me in. It's rainy, and cold, and I think I'm getting a little tear here... I don't know what I did wrong... but please don't make me stay here alone!

TROOPS: Oh no! People here are dying! But I'm sure that with our new bake sale, we'll have decent armor soon. I mean, they support us back home, right? Think about all the flags they put up several months ago!

LAUREN (on phone): No, I'm sorry, I can't buy any cookies for armor. Well, yes I support the troops, but I already put up my flag, what more do you want? I'm sorry you're so ill-equipped, but that's not my fault! Your equipment is already being paid for out of my tax money!

A few months after that....

TROOPS: Oh dear. We didn't have decent armor, and now some of us need medical care - even medical care after we're ostensibly cured! Well, this time, we'll be sure to get wha...

MEDICAL BENEFITS: Yeah, we've been cut. You'll have to go elsewhere. Don't you have insurance or something?

TROOPS: Maybe we can sell chocolates door to door or something....

FRED (at door): No, I will not buy your chocolates! I don't care if you can't afford medical treatment, that's not my fault! Now, if you don't leave my property soon, I will have you arrested for trespassing!

FLAG: Don't send them away! I'm so... lonely....

Nearly a year after the first scene...

TELEVISION: Remember, hang a flag to support the troops!

JENNIFER: Don't we have one of those? Oh right. (goes to look) Wow, it's awfully tattered and torn. Better get a new one...

FLAG: I'm... going in? YAY!

GARBAGE: (eats flag)

FLAG: Sic transit gloria.

PLAY: (ends)

Comments

[polydad.livejournal.com]

Can we hang an administration, instead? How about a Senate?

best,

Joel. Ready to go buy rope.

[conuly]

Whatever we do, we have to act as one.

We must hang together now, or we most assuredly will all hang separately.

[polydad.livejournal.com]

I'd be delighted to include Ben in the cabal, but he seems to be excessively dead at the moment.

best,

Joel

[conuly]

This is why God invented necrophiliacs. Um. I mean necromancy! NECROMANCY!

*blinkblinkblink*

_{I'm gonna go now....}

[polydad.livejournal.com]

*blinkblinkblink*

I prescribe a strong Irish coffee to treat the eyebrow tremors. Mike, one Blessing, please.

I'm sure Ben would be up for a little posthumous boffing; it's not like he ever abstained while he was breathing, after all.

And if we *can* ressurect him, let's go for Adams and Jefferson, too.

best,

Joel

[conuly]

Sounds fair to me.

[bitterlight.livejournal.com]

Heh, that's awesome.

Technically you are supposed to burn dead flags.

[conuly]

Yes, I've been saying that.

[pne.livejournal.com]

Technically you are supposed to burn dead flags.

I believe that's not quite accurate.

I suppose you're referring to the flag code? That says that you're supposed to dispose of flags that are unfit for display in a dignified manner, and suggests burning (*checks (http://straylight.law.cornell.edu/uscode/html/uscode04/usc_sec_04_00000008----000-.html)* it even says "preferably"), but does not say that's the only proper method. Unless you're referring to something else?

[conuly]

Yes, but if we acknowledge that there are other options, we don't get to tell the conservative idiots that flag-burning is patriotic.

(It is anyway, if it's done in a heartfelt expression of protest, I think, but others don't always see it that way)

[xiggaroo.livejournal.com]

Yo, can I call you tonight?

[xiggaroo.livejournal.com]

Meaning, of course, are you there? ;)

[hemaldesai.livejournal.com]

interesting.....! story...! same politacal story every where....!

[conuly]

Too many politicians and "troopsupporters", not enough patriots and statesmen?

[kiji-kat.livejournal.com]

Brilliant.

Welcome to my friends list. (Unless you object.)

[conuly]

Far from it!

[pehanoie.livejournal.com]

You are awesome.

[conuly]

Duh.

[polydad.livejournal.com]

Can we hang an administration, instead? How about a Senate?

best,

Joel. Ready to go buy rope.

[conuly]

Whatever we do, we have to act as one.

We must hang together now, or we most assuredly will all hang separately.

[polydad.livejournal.com]

I'd be delighted to include Ben in the cabal, but he seems to be excessively dead at the moment.

best,

Joel

[conuly]

This is why God invented necrophiliacs. Um. I mean necromancy! NECROMANCY!

*blinkblinkblink*

_{I'm gonna go now....}

[polydad.livejournal.com]

*blinkblinkblink*

I prescribe a strong Irish coffee to treat the eyebrow tremors. Mike, one Blessing, please.

I'm sure Ben would be up for a little posthumous boffing; it's not like he ever abstained while he was breathing, after all.

And if we *can* ressurect him, let's go for Adams and Jefferson, too.

best,

Joel

[conuly]

Sounds fair to me.

[bitterlight.livejournal.com]

Heh, that's awesome.

Technically you are supposed to burn dead flags.

[conuly]

Yes, I've been saying that.

[pne.livejournal.com]

Technically you are supposed to burn dead flags.

I believe that's not quite accurate.

I suppose you're referring to the flag code? That says that you're supposed to dispose of flags that are unfit for display in a dignified manner, and suggests burning (*checks (http://straylight.law.cornell.edu/uscode/html/uscode04/usc_sec_04_00000008----000-.html)* it even says "preferably"), but does not say that's the only proper method. Unless you're referring to something else?

[conuly]

Yes, but if we acknowledge that there are other options, we don't get to tell the conservative idiots that flag-burning is patriotic.

(It is anyway, if it's done in a heartfelt expression of protest, I think, but others don't always see it that way)

[xiggaroo.livejournal.com]

Yo, can I call you tonight?

[xiggaroo.livejournal.com]

Meaning, of course, are you there? ;)

[hemaldesai.livejournal.com]

interesting.....! story...! same politacal story every where....!

[conuly]

Too many politicians and "troopsupporters", not enough patriots and statesmen?

[kiji-kat.livejournal.com]

Brilliant.

Welcome to my friends list. (Unless you object.)

[conuly]

Far from it!

[pehanoie.livejournal.com]

You are awesome.

[conuly]

Duh.