You know, I don't like being told I'm wrong when I'm wrong.

[conuly]

Oh, I'll suck it up, I'll educate myself and endeavour not to make the same mistake in the future, but man, I don't like it. (Mind, I prefer it to being ignorant, so please, correct me if I'm making a mistake.)

I really dislike being told I'm wrong when I am, in fact, right. I dislike it even more when the person ostensibly "correcting" me feels that her point will be better made WHEN SHE TALKS LIKE THIS!!!! And when that person has a note on her user info about how we shouldn't be condescending or belligerent... *sighs*

Actually, that part's pretty funny. Because, let me tell you, TALKING LIKE THIS is both in one swell foop.

Comments

[xiggaroo.livejournal.com]

Most of the time when you are wrong, you are too stubborn to admit it. Though, can't really blame you - I am the same way. ;)

[conuly]

That's not true! Well. It might be in some circumstances, but not others. I suspect I'm not exactly qualified to judge :)

[beccak1961.livejournal.com]

This is generalizing, which is normally a bad thing, but it seems that those who talk the most about not being nasty, are usually the nastiest. What they usually mean is, "don't be nasty to me."

[maladaptive.livejournal.com]

I usually get the people who get snide with me. I think I'd prefer the person with all caps, it's not nearly as irritating as someone getting nasty, because at least the all caps individual I can write off as being stupid.

Stupidity isn't an excuse for being a mean person, but it doesn't feel like as much of a waste when an intelligent person is just vicious.

"Project much?"

[dkmnow.livejournal.com]

Yes. All of us have this problem. Self-awareness is the only way out.

We almost always feel more drive to attack others ("in self-defense") when we unconsciously percieve them as displaying or threatening to reveal the behavioral traits that we are most afraid of acknowledging in ourselves. Almost all finger-pointing is a function of this ego-defense mechanism, and all the classic attributional biases and logical fallacies come flocking to its cause.

This is true of everyone - well, except for Me, of course!

In The Question of Evil (http://www.hoopandtree.org/qx_of_evil.htm), Chris Hoffman provides an unusually clear and concise description of how we "project our own shadow" onto others, and of the natural consequences of this.

(It's a great read for any number of reasons...psssst! Pass it on!)

Excerpt:

In shadow projection our own unacknowledged anger, hatred, jealousy, selfishness or lust are falsely experienced as qualities possessed by another person or group. This usually results in viewing the other person or group as morally “lower” than ourselves. Michael Daniels of John Moores University in Liverpool explains that when the “evil” shadow is projected onto others, “these people will be defined and experienced as our moral enemy and we will thereby feel consciously justified in the harm that we might cause them, which is cleverly interpreted by the ego as deserved harm. In this way evil (undeserved harm) is seen as good (deserved harm). Such is the moral double-talk that projection can produce.”

[leora.livejournal.com]

I don't remember any specifics... I tend not to, but you made it far enough in Support you must have been corrected several times. And I don't recall you have any problems with it or dealing with it poorly.

[conuly]

Yeah, but I wasn't told I was wrong when I was right. I might not like being wrong (which is why I don't like being corrected), but I'd rather be corrected and stop being wrong than keep being wrong.

Does that make sense?

(Besides, what you don't realize is that if I thought I'd been really wrong, I'd avoid that category or the support board entirely for varying lengths of time. Not reacting well, just not making a fuss for the world either. I also do this sometimes if I catch my own mistakes)

[leora.livejournal.com]

Ah, that's hard to notice, because people slow down activity or cease it for way too many reasons. And it's not uncommon for someone to get a review in one category and slow down because they're rotating their focus between several categories and are now trying to build up a bunch of requests for a review in another category. I don't think that method is actually a good idea, but it seems to be reasonably common from what we could deduce from patterns we seemed to notice but didn't formally analyze.

[xiggaroo.livejournal.com]

Most of the time when you are wrong, you are too stubborn to admit it. Though, can't really blame you - I am the same way. ;)

[conuly]

That's not true! Well. It might be in some circumstances, but not others. I suspect I'm not exactly qualified to judge :)

[beccak1961.livejournal.com]

This is generalizing, which is normally a bad thing, but it seems that those who talk the most about not being nasty, are usually the nastiest. What they usually mean is, "don't be nasty to me."

[maladaptive.livejournal.com]

I usually get the people who get snide with me. I think I'd prefer the person with all caps, it's not nearly as irritating as someone getting nasty, because at least the all caps individual I can write off as being stupid.

Stupidity isn't an excuse for being a mean person, but it doesn't feel like as much of a waste when an intelligent person is just vicious.

"Project much?"

[dkmnow.livejournal.com]

Yes. All of us have this problem. Self-awareness is the only way out.

We almost always feel more drive to attack others ("in self-defense") when we unconsciously percieve them as displaying or threatening to reveal the behavioral traits that we are most afraid of acknowledging in ourselves. Almost all finger-pointing is a function of this ego-defense mechanism, and all the classic attributional biases and logical fallacies come flocking to its cause.

This is true of everyone - well, except for Me, of course!

In The Question of Evil (http://www.hoopandtree.org/qx_of_evil.htm), Chris Hoffman provides an unusually clear and concise description of how we "project our own shadow" onto others, and of the natural consequences of this.

(It's a great read for any number of reasons...psssst! Pass it on!)

Excerpt:

In shadow projection our own unacknowledged anger, hatred, jealousy, selfishness or lust are falsely experienced as qualities possessed by another person or group. This usually results in viewing the other person or group as morally “lower” than ourselves. Michael Daniels of John Moores University in Liverpool explains that when the “evil” shadow is projected onto others, “these people will be defined and experienced as our moral enemy and we will thereby feel consciously justified in the harm that we might cause them, which is cleverly interpreted by the ego as deserved harm. In this way evil (undeserved harm) is seen as good (deserved harm). Such is the moral double-talk that projection can produce.”

[leora.livejournal.com]

I don't remember any specifics... I tend not to, but you made it far enough in Support you must have been corrected several times. And I don't recall you have any problems with it or dealing with it poorly.

[conuly]

Yeah, but I wasn't told I was wrong when I was right. I might not like being wrong (which is why I don't like being corrected), but I'd rather be corrected and stop being wrong than keep being wrong.

Does that make sense?

(Besides, what you don't realize is that if I thought I'd been really wrong, I'd avoid that category or the support board entirely for varying lengths of time. Not reacting well, just not making a fuss for the world either. I also do this sometimes if I catch my own mistakes)

[leora.livejournal.com]

Ah, that's hard to notice, because people slow down activity or cease it for way too many reasons. And it's not uncommon for someone to get a review in one category and slow down because they're rotating their focus between several categories and are now trying to build up a bunch of requests for a review in another category. I don't think that method is actually a good idea, but it seems to be reasonably common from what we could deduce from patterns we seemed to notice but didn't formally analyze.