conuly | Apparently, I got it from ladytabitha

Ahhh, one of the oldest tricks on IRC.

As to the second article, he sounds like one of those self-professed "nice" guys who think women only date assholes.

"Nice guys" really bug me. They usually go on and on about how well they'd treat a woman if they had one. They tend to talk about relationships in unrealistic terms, and sound as if they'd have no idea how to deal with an argument, work through things, or actually handle day to day commitment and issues.

Look, flowers and hugs are good, and telling me you'd write a woman poetry and give her massages is lovely. But would you take out the trash? Would you fetch me my ibuprofin when I have a headache? Ideally without giving me a long speech about how much you love me and just getting me the damn drugs. And can you stand up for yourself? Because I'm a strong person, and if a guy can't stand up for himself I'll eat him alive in the bad way. I don't want that. You don't want that (I hope).

I don't go for nice guys. I don't consider anyone I've been interested in to be an asshole, either, although some people might. Because I like men who speak their mind. And sometimes I'd rather have a bit of an asshole than someone who is so damn tactful we can't communicate until the problems blow up in our faces.

And that's most of my why "nice guys" suck rant. Oh, that and they almost always talk about wanting "someone". They never seem to be interested in anyone particular, even when they're trying to get someone particular. They always seem to see the person as the girl who fills the role of girlfriend, not as the person she is. Yeah, that's attractive.

It's not that black and white. I'd like to think I'm a "nice guy" and that my wife would agree. And while I do flowers and massages, I also go to the store for tampons, do dishes, laundry, etc. Do I need to be an asshole to prove I'm doing it altruistically? Of course, my wife treats me well, but I'd probably be the same if she didn't [ask my ex-wife].

I understand where you're coming from, Leora, but please don't pigeonhole us, or paint us in black and white where men [and women] are actually multiple shades of gray.

:::Waving at Connie who's journal this is in:::

...there's nice, and then there's passive-aggressive jerkwads who insist at the top of their lungs that they're nice because they write lousy poetry.

The latter suck. The former are hopefully smart enough to know that we all know there's a difference, yeah?

You completely missed my point. It has nothing to do with being an asshole. It has everything to do with assholes going around calling themselves "nice guys" and saying, "why do women only date assholes" and implying, "because I'm so much better than every man who has ever been in a relationship with a woman and I will insult the intelligence of all women to prove it".

I'm not talking about nice guys. I'm talking about the people who go around calling themselves "nice guys".

Ok, so I did miss your point [brain is asleep cause work is the suck today]. I'd like to still believe that I'm really a "nice guy" even though there are plenty who would disagree. [and no, you can't talk to my wife about that].

I will gladly agree that I'm certainly not smarter than most of the women I know, and certainly don't see myself as G-d's gift to women everywhere.

OK.... that last part.... yeah, in my dreams I'd like to believe that, but it ain't true.

Be well :)

The weird part is that he actually said why women wear clothes that cover less when it gets hot. Oddly, men do the same thing-- but when men do it, it's never to attract mates, oh no.

And I love how it's totally a self-esteem issue that they haven't caught on to yet. Like my being single is due to my latent lesbianism (whaaaaat?) People will do anything to make the world about them. Seriously. x.x

Apparently the only "genuine" woman around with healthy self-esteem is the one wearing a muumuu in July who comes over to the author and says "Hi!"

yeah, right.

That second idiot...WTF? No, moron, I wear shorts in the summer because it's 90 degrees out and actually I do sweat.

But really I'm just so desperate for a boyfriend that I need to walk around half naked. That's totally it.