Interesting problem...

[conuly]

Lizziey has been working at a daycare center. She suspects one of the little girls there, Lily, is AS because she says that kid is a lot like I am, and even more like I'm described at her age. But the parents don't really want to admit anything's wrong, so naturally she ran the problem past me before deciding whether or not to bring it up to them - after all, I know more about it than she does.

Unfortunately, this put me in the strange situation of trying to figure out what this girl is like without prompting answers. How on earth do you ask "does she line up her toys instead of playing with them normally" (a standard sign of AS, even if it doesn't occur with all aspies) without getting Lizziey to remember EVERY time the kid lined up her toys, and forget the times she didn't and the other kids did? Although, I have to say, judging from the description I finally got, Lizziey may be right on track with this:

Only loose clothes. No pants, because she doesn't like the waistbands. No tags, ever.
Only sandals, and those get taken off as soon as possible.
"Meltdowns" for no apparent reason, screaming/hitting/biting.
Takes her naps in the supply closet, and spends a lot of the day there outside of naptime.
Does, apparently, line up all the stuffed animals in a particular order before napping.
Routinely leaves group activities to head over to the office where there's less people.
Reads a lot/all the time, speaks "at a more advanced level than the other kids" (she's five).
Terribly uncoordinated. Can't walk on a flat surface without tripping. Can't go on the trampoline without falling. LOVES to jump, and spin, but can't.
Most tellingly, the whole staff has already gotten this kid pegged as "a little off" and, importantly, her parents ask daily things like "did she talk to the other kids today" and "did she play with anybody" (with the general answer "no").

Thing is, this could probably mean more than just autism. And I'm not so stupid as to try to give an amateur diagnosis to a kid I've never even met. But my completely and totally volunteer opinion is that this kid's parents would do well for a quick education on all things spectrum. (Can I use this phrase? I like how it sounds).

*hums slightly to herself*

Had I the time, and the preparation, I could've asked a larger range of questions, but this all took me by surprise. And, like I said, I was trying to figure out how to find out more about this girl without prompting answers. If you've an open enough mind, you can diagnose yourself as dead without even missing a beat.

Comments

[moggymania.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, what else are you thinking she could have? The autism spectrum is the only thing I've heard of that causes that particular kind of behavior. (It sounds a lot like me, too.)

[conuly]

What else? I have no clue. But I refuse to diagnose somebody when 1. I've never seen her and 2. we're looking for this diagnosis in her. Besides, there's always the possibility of something... um... else. I like to cover my bases so I can't really be wrong. Petty, I know. But you must forgive the pettiness, for without it I'd be stuck acting like the expert I'm really not.

I'm pretty confident that autism is it for her, but on the offchance that I'm somehow wrong, I want to be able to say that I was prepared for the outcome. When I don't hedge like that, somebody always pops up to say "well, actually, this and that really rare condition could also apply, so..." and then I get irked.

*shrugs* Even if I am wrong, I think her parents could use a nice lesson on the concept of neurodiversity and accepting people as they are. I'm sure they love her, and care about her, but she's not going to start playing with the other kids just because they really want her to, and all that wishing may not be the best thing for her. And then, of course, right after Lizziey and I have this talk, Xiggy mentioned somebody she knows whose kid got diagnosed Asperger's. The woman was fine with the diagnosis until she found out it's a form of autism. Then she started crying, and left the kid at the nanny's for three days. Because now he's just no longer the kid he was last week.

[moggymania.livejournal.com]

That reminds me of something obnoxious/angering that a person on one of the discussion lists said today in defense of ABA...

"Now it may be true that it would be better if we had a world that did not have that bias but we don't and changing it would take longer than my lifetime."

[moggymania.livejournal.com]

That is, the idiot that freaked out because she learned that AS = Autism reminded me of it. Not you.

Obviously I should stop commenting for the night before I cause a real mess... *snicker*

[conuly]

Anyway, I edited it now. If somebody pops up and informs us all that this behaviour is also characteristic of Batman syndrome, I'm blaming you. Just so you know.

Damn, it turns out that I [was/am] autistic!

[marveen.livejournal.com]

...ehh, I'm (mostly) kidding.

But I do wonder (because I never ran across the word "autism" until I was eighteen or so)....

I still hate waistbands and any clothes that pinch or bind, no matter how "pretty" they are.
Likewise shoes, I'm happiest barefoot.
Small enclosed spaces make me feel secure.
I always organized my crayons by color and shade, spectrum and then dark to light. I did a lot of organizing.
Reads a lot/all the time, speaks "at a more advanced level than the other kids" [Boy, I heard that a lot in school. They always wanted me to dumb it down for some reason.]
I have difficulty relating to other people and always have had.
Terribly uncoordinated. Can't walk on a flat surface without tripping. [I learned long ago to watch the ground so I had a chance of not falling.] LOVES to [dance] but can't.
I don't deal with large groups of people well, even if I know them. And that hasn't changed since I was four, either.

...sounds like I lean towards that end of the spectrum. Hmmm.

[j3ss.livejournal.com]

Interesting. I fit almost all of those symtoms. I used to line up my dolls because I was the special guest lecturer.

[conuly]

*nods* Like I said, you can diagnose yourself as dead if you want to. The question is: do you think that this set of traits interferes with your ability to function in this world? If no, don't even think about it. It's not productive.

[j3ss.livejournal.com]

Yeah I agree. My current shrink thinks I'm bipolar. He has written books about people being bipolar, has a TV show about it, etc etc etc. I don't care what he thinks I have as long as he keeps me on my medication that works.

[redlami.livejournal.com]

I think it's a bad idea to give a second-hand amateur diagnosis to parents who aren't asking for it. If you were to speak to the parents themselves, you could maybe find out what their concerns were, and suggest things they might want to read, but I still wouldn't suggest telling them you thought their daughter was an aspie unless they asked you that question specifically.

[conuly]

That's why my advice to Lizziey was, if they ask, tell them. They seem, ei, to be concerned and worried already. I'm hardly about to go giving diagnoses to anybody, least of all people I don't know. No good comes of that sort of thing.

[moggymania.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, what else are you thinking she could have? The autism spectrum is the only thing I've heard of that causes that particular kind of behavior. (It sounds a lot like me, too.)

[conuly]

What else? I have no clue. But I refuse to diagnose somebody when 1. I've never seen her and 2. we're looking for this diagnosis in her. Besides, there's always the possibility of something... um... else. I like to cover my bases so I can't really be wrong. Petty, I know. But you must forgive the pettiness, for without it I'd be stuck acting like the expert I'm really not.

I'm pretty confident that autism is it for her, but on the offchance that I'm somehow wrong, I want to be able to say that I was prepared for the outcome. When I don't hedge like that, somebody always pops up to say "well, actually, this and that really rare condition could also apply, so..." and then I get irked.

*shrugs* Even if I am wrong, I think her parents could use a nice lesson on the concept of neurodiversity and accepting people as they are. I'm sure they love her, and care about her, but she's not going to start playing with the other kids just because they really want her to, and all that wishing may not be the best thing for her. And then, of course, right after Lizziey and I have this talk, Xiggy mentioned somebody she knows whose kid got diagnosed Asperger's. The woman was fine with the diagnosis until she found out it's a form of autism. Then she started crying, and left the kid at the nanny's for three days. Because now he's just no longer the kid he was last week.

[moggymania.livejournal.com]

That reminds me of something obnoxious/angering that a person on one of the discussion lists said today in defense of ABA...

"Now it may be true that it would be better if we had a world that did not have that bias but we don't and changing it would take longer than my lifetime."

[moggymania.livejournal.com]

That is, the idiot that freaked out because she learned that AS = Autism reminded me of it. Not you.

Obviously I should stop commenting for the night before I cause a real mess... *snicker*

[conuly]

Anyway, I edited it now. If somebody pops up and informs us all that this behaviour is also characteristic of Batman syndrome, I'm blaming you. Just so you know.

Damn, it turns out that I [was/am] autistic!

[marveen.livejournal.com]

...ehh, I'm (mostly) kidding.

But I do wonder (because I never ran across the word "autism" until I was eighteen or so)....

I still hate waistbands and any clothes that pinch or bind, no matter how "pretty" they are.
Likewise shoes, I'm happiest barefoot.
Small enclosed spaces make me feel secure.
I always organized my crayons by color and shade, spectrum and then dark to light. I did a lot of organizing.
Reads a lot/all the time, speaks "at a more advanced level than the other kids" [Boy, I heard that a lot in school. They always wanted me to dumb it down for some reason.]
I have difficulty relating to other people and always have had.
Terribly uncoordinated. Can't walk on a flat surface without tripping. [I learned long ago to watch the ground so I had a chance of not falling.] LOVES to [dance] but can't.
I don't deal with large groups of people well, even if I know them. And that hasn't changed since I was four, either.

...sounds like I lean towards that end of the spectrum. Hmmm.

[j3ss.livejournal.com]

Interesting. I fit almost all of those symtoms. I used to line up my dolls because I was the special guest lecturer.

[conuly]

*nods* Like I said, you can diagnose yourself as dead if you want to. The question is: do you think that this set of traits interferes with your ability to function in this world? If no, don't even think about it. It's not productive.

[j3ss.livejournal.com]

Yeah I agree. My current shrink thinks I'm bipolar. He has written books about people being bipolar, has a TV show about it, etc etc etc. I don't care what he thinks I have as long as he keeps me on my medication that works.

[redlami.livejournal.com]

I think it's a bad idea to give a second-hand amateur diagnosis to parents who aren't asking for it. If you were to speak to the parents themselves, you could maybe find out what their concerns were, and suggest things they might want to read, but I still wouldn't suggest telling them you thought their daughter was an aspie unless they asked you that question specifically.

[conuly]

That's why my advice to Lizziey was, if they ask, tell them. They seem, ei, to be concerned and worried already. I'm hardly about to go giving diagnoses to anybody, least of all people I don't know. No good comes of that sort of thing.