Actual conversation with Ana walking home from school.

[conuly]

Ana: Connie? *sticks out middle finger* Olivia says this is like cursing.
Me: Huh? Oh, yeah, it sorta is, don't do that.
Ana: But why? I mean, I'm only pointing at things.
Me: Yeah, but it's a little rude. Most people just use their point fingers, not their middle finger.
Ana: But...
Me: *sighs* See, Ana, because the middle finger is longer than the other fingers, some people think it's kinda like a penis, so they consider it rude to stick out your middle finger like that.
Ana: o.O ?????
Me: Yeah, I never said people were very smart or that this made sense.
Ana: *carefully holding down every finger but the ring finger* I could point like this!
Me: Yeah, I guess so, with your-
Ana: With my... my RING finger.
Me: Yeah, you could, that's fine. Most people use their point fingers.
Ana: Or I could use my pinkie. *demonstrates*
Me: Sure, you could do that. Most people just use their point fingers.
Ana: I guess I could use my thumb.
Me: Absolutely. Most people just use their point fingers.
Ana: People might think I'm giving them a thumb's up, though.

Comments

[becoming-mother.livejournal.com]

*giggling hysterically* Oh my.

[feebeeglee.livejournal.com]

Ana is so awesome.

[tsukikage85.livejournal.com]

I often joke-give people the middle finger using my ring finger. Like saying shite instead of shit?

[marveen.livejournal.com]

If you point with your pinky finger, some people will consider that you're cursing them.

This is probably only a concern in some parts of Europe, certain ethnic areas SETTLED from those parts of Europe, and some rural areas, but FYI.

[marveen.livejournal.com]

Err, I should clarify that's not cursing as in cussing, that's cursing as in magic. As in the yarb woman. As in bruja.

So be sure of your audience.

[queenlyzard.livejournal.com]

Very cool to know! Gives new meaning (or perhaps old meaning) to the phrase "I have more power in my little finger..."

[conuly]

I had no idea! Thanks for the input - I'll tell Ana.

[leora.livejournal.com]

As with most communication, it's rude because it's defined as rude. "Cat" only means cat because people generally view it that way. "Shit" is only a "bad word" because people decided it. But since people know something is used to signal that you are being rude or mean to someone it is rude and mean, since you're signaling an attempt to be rude and mean, which is fundamentally rude and mean.

That said, hand gestures are so risky. I've been warned against what I think of as the okay hand gesture, since it is rude in some places. And Disney employees have to use two fingers to point at things when directing people where to find stuff because "some people feel it is rude to point at people". This is actually a badly devolved rule from a reasonable etiquette rule. It is rude to talk about people out of their hearing, but around them. So, if you point at someone it can come across as you talking about them to someone else. Pointing with two fingers does nothing to help with this, but some people have the general rule without any understanding of its purpose and thus pointing with one finger becomes rude to some people.

Indeed people are not sensible.

[queenlyzard.livejournal.com]

Ana is awesome.

And is that really the reasoning behind giving The Finger? I've never heard that explanation before!

Fun fact, courtesy of Robert Fulghum: these signals are by no means the same across cultures. In Greece, for instance, "thumbs up" is rude, and the "A-ok" sign of thumb-to-forefinger is ruder still (that one's easy to see why).

And I've always loved the fact that in Japanese sign language, the sign for children involves sticking both middle fingers up! (well, yes, that is how you get children....)

Come to San Diego again! I had so much fun hanging out with you and the girls.