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Today I was making french toast for breakfast
The eggs were a little older than I'd like, so I tested them in some cold water before cracking to make sure they didn't float. They can still be bad even if they don't float, but the odds are lower.
And here I am, cracking eggs into a separate bowl (you crack a rotten egg into your cake batter just once and that is a mistake you will never make again) when one makes a bid for freedom and starts rolling off the counter.
Like a fool, I moved forward to catch it, it cracked right on my thigh and - yup, that was a bad one. Of all the rotten luck.
Now, as this was going on I was also trying to chivvy Ana up for breakfast. So when she hears me transition suddenly from "C'mon, Ana, you gotta take your inhaler!" to "OH GOD DAMN IT!" she bolts up out of bed and goes "What did I do????"
"Oh, uh, this wasn't you honey, this was the egg."
But I guess there's a silver lining here, in that one she shot out of bed she didn't get back in!
****************************
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************
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And here I am, cracking eggs into a separate bowl (you crack a rotten egg into your cake batter just once and that is a mistake you will never make again) when one makes a bid for freedom and starts rolling off the counter.
Like a fool, I moved forward to catch it, it cracked right on my thigh and - yup, that was a bad one. Of all the rotten luck.
Now, as this was going on I was also trying to chivvy Ana up for breakfast. So when she hears me transition suddenly from "C'mon, Ana, you gotta take your inhaler!" to "OH GOD DAMN IT!" she bolts up out of bed and goes "What did I do????"
"Oh, uh, this wasn't you honey, this was the egg."
But I guess there's a silver lining here, in that one she shot out of bed she didn't get back in!
How School Districts Seal Their Students Into Poverty
Traffic Takes A Tremendous Global Toll, But Cheap Fixes Can Save Lives
A Common Hospital Infection May be Coming To Us From Food
This Dog Found a Clever Way to Retrieve Her Ball From a Pool Without Getting Wet
The invisible network that keeps the world running
Some Guantanamo inmates would go to U.S. under new plan: Obama aide
An Ambiguous Victory for Gay Rights in Europe
How Much Acetaminophen a Day is Safe? Canada May Decide It’s Less
Endangered butterfly recovering in some, not all, of range
San Francisco combats the stench of urine with pee-repellant paint
Transgender Women Face Inadequate Health Care, 'Shocking' HIV Rates (Don't read the comments!)
Can Breadfruit Overcome Its Past to Be a Superfood of the Future?
The 1 percent’s twisted games: How they’re distorting reality and diluting democracy
The Cancer Epidemic in Central Appalachia
How Do Fireflies Glow? Mystery Solved After 60 Years
Palm Oil Is In Everything -- And It's Destroying Southeast Asia's Forests
Are Americans More Pessimistic About Race—or More Realistic?
The Scientific Explanation Behind Underwater 'Fairy Circles'
Everyone Has the Right to Mouth Off to Cops
Salt Is Slowly Crippling California's Almond Industry
Do the world’s ‘uncontacted’ tribes deserve to be left alone?
Group To Unveil Satan Statue In Detroit During ‘Largest Public Satanic Ceremony In History’ (God, sometimes I love the Satanist. They certainly act with style.)
Why Schools Over-Discipline Children With Disabilities
Why We Were Totally Wrong About How Boa Constrictors Kill
Adults before their time, Syria’s refugee children toil in the fields of Lebanon
Syria's Assad: Army focusing on holding most important areas
ISIS Makes Three Times as Much from Oil Smuggling as Previously Thought: Officials
Syrian Kurds accuse Turkey of attacking their forces
In Syria, Chlorine Attacks Continue To Take A Toll
Turkish jets hit PKK targets in Iraq after soldiers killed: sources
Syrian refugee crisis in numbers
Fishermen stepping in to save migrants stranded in the Mediterranean
Tensions run high in Rome's suburbs as Italy struggles with migration crisis
Saudi-led coalition suspends Yemen strikes to allow aid
Palestinians, Israeli police clash at Jerusalem's al-Aqsa
Taliban seizes Afghan police base after mass surrender
AP tracks slave boats to Papua New Guinea
Ukraine Detains Suspected Russian Army Officer
Puerto Rico can fix debt problems without default -economists
Nigeria Boko Haram crisis: Child bomber hits Damaturu