I realize that I'm now just being annoying

But there's a contest in the comments here for inventing fake (but realistic!) grammar "rules". Sadly, some of the fakes have already been promulgated. For one thing, I'm sure I've seen the one about people/persons seriously said in an older text somewhere. I remember because I was struck by the logic, but still totally unconvinced that this was crucial to the continuance of intelligent discourse.