My mothier-in-law is a special ed teacher, and has pretty much diagnosed my husband as having Aspergers. I don't disagree, but it hurts his feelings to have it brought up and it isn't causing him a *lot* of problems, so I don't bring it up to him. I listen when he goes on about things, and when we're with other people who are obviously not interested, I gently steer the conversation. And what happened? At the end of his senior year, his advisor thanked me for helping him with his condescension issues. (Yes, he would talk down to professors. He never meant to, he just doesn't realize that's how he comes across.)
He listens more and tries to understand, and isn't hurt when I suggest that perhaps he's wrong. (He doesn't have much of a lack of empathy, it's just every other social cue on the planet that he's missing out on.) And it's still a bit of work to get him to talk things out, but he does. And all without turning him into my personal science project. But at the same time, maybe that's the only way the wife here knew how to help.
Of course, there's part of me that wonders if it isn't Aspergers, but that his parents just didn't raise him right.