conuly

Don't read TV Tropes. Seriously, that's a bad idea.

But I was reading TV Tropes, and I read the most *astounding* news. Apparently Stephanie Meyer is coming out with a new book series? About time-traveling cannibal mermaids? Why has nobody told me about this???

Okay, okay, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking: "We didn't tell you because it's gonna suck and we hope it's not true". But think a little harder. Really envision the concept of time-traveling! cannibal! mermaids! Think about it. Isn't that just the most awesomest thing you ever heard? It is! It's fantastic! They're mermaids... that travel through time... and are cannibals. No word yet on whether they sparkle, but I'm betting yes. Sparkly time traveling cannibal mermaids! OMG!

There's only one teensy tiny little PROBLEM. And that's kinda Stephanie Meyers. But not to worry. She can be replaced.

For example, we can have this series written by that one who ghostwrites the V. C. Andrews books. Then we could have sparkly incestuous time-traveling cannibal mermaids! Maybe they can be their own grandpas.

Or we could get Lurlene McDaniels to write it. Then they'll be meaningful sparkly incestuous time-traveling cannibal mermaids, which is bound to be an improvement.

Or we could ask Ann M. Martin. Now, stop for a minute and picture this:

Sparkly incestuous time-traveling cannibal mermaids who babysit (in a meaningful way).

C'mon. TELL me that's not awesome. Because me? I think it's pretty awesome.

Jenn thinks I ought to do this for NaNoWriMo. And the more I think about it, the more awesome I think it is. Except I don't do NaNoWriMo... and good thing too, because this concept needs a special touch. No hack writing for me. No, for my own little version of sparkly incestuous time-traveling cannibal mermaid babysitters I'm going to have to break out... the haiku.

Oh yeah. All that awesome, condensed into 30 brief (and meaningful!) haikus.

There's absolutely no way this can go wrong.

C'mon. Tell me I'm awesome. I'm so excited. This is the bestest idea I've had all year!

It's nippy outside
Cold, cold hands at the playground
It's getting darker

Looking for patterns
Buying cozy flannel prints
In over my head

You're going too fast!
Now you're reading too slowly!
Failing her finals

Done with my sewing
I look at my new quilt pieces
Used the wrong fabric


40 minutes of sewing, undone by some 2 minutes of thread pulling. And then Jenn told me I should get a seam ripper. What, so that the thread pulling will take even less time, and I can feel even more demoralized? I saved the wrong fabric triangles, I'll use 'em in the border at the end.

Last quilt, if you're curious, was "Little Giant". This one is "Mother's Fancy".

The leaves come falling
As do the politicians
Vote, dammit, vote!

Mind, I'm not voting, but I don't believe I can without at least one form of ID - even a non-official one. And I don't have that. I'm still waiting on renewing my passport from umpety-seven years ago.

Where is LiveJournal?
I am in woods of sorrow.
I want it, dammit!

Cold, rainy morning.
I will not go out today.
But then the clouds break.

Last one, people!


Winter coming in
Snow, wind, rain, cloudy weather
Farewell, my haiku

*coughs*

So, fun as this was, can't say I'll keep it up next month. Next year, sure.

I'm thinking for my next project, I'll post a not-so-inspirational quote every day. What say you?

Spraypainting a guy's bumper stickers? What?

Today's haiku:

Sitting here in shock
Nausea. Indignation.
Must leave this country.