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Misplaced my glasses. Thought they might be on the bed. I looked all over the bed, looked on this side, looked on that side, shook out my blanket, then stepped off the bed to look under it.

Snapped my glasses in half with an audible CRUNCH.

Well, I needed a new pair anyway, I suppose. I've superglued these for now and made an appointment for next week.
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Surprise discovery in the blink of an eye

Ancient Egyptian works to be published together in English for first time

Wi-Fi? Why not? Homeless are avid users of free web kiosks

Fruit-fly diet impacts descendants, researcher finds

Orphan village helps Russia rethink fostering (Video)

'Cyclops' beetles hint at solution to 'chicken-and-egg' problem in novel trait evolution

Rock music used to be a safe haven for degenerates and rebels. Until it found Jesus

Bubble-wrapped sponge creates steam using sunlight

Colombia rebels relax, play soccer as peace nears

David’s Ankles: How Imperfections Could Bring Down the World’s Most Perfect Statue

The Race for a Zika Vaccine

In pictures: Kashmir's 'curfew schools'

It’s time to bring more realistic models of human behaviour into economic policy and regulation

UN: Thousands of Central American children seek to enter US

Inside the women-owned restaurants of Yida, South Sudan’s largest — and most tenuous — refugee settlement

The astonishing story of how two wrestling teammates from Miami came to oppose each other in the cocaine wars -- one as a drug smuggler, the other as a DEA agent.

Meet the worst ants in the world

Affluent and Black, and Still Trapped by Segregation: Why well-off black families end up living in poorer areas than white families with similar or even lower incomes.

Fists not football: Brain injuries seen in domestic assaults

Here's What It's Like To Be a Defense Investigator in a Rigged Criminal Justice System

Disabled California man seeks to have voting rights restored

These workers fuel a $120M industry, but many sleep on the streets

Walmart’s Out-of-Control Crime Problem Is Driving Police Crazy

In Pursuit of the African Dream

The demise of the Maya civilization: Water shortage can destroy cultures

How Trolls Are Ruining the Internet

Big Pharma Increased Price of Life-Saving EpiPen by Over 450 Percent

Racism and talk of religious war: Trump staff's online posts

The dark history of Donald Trump's rightwing revolt

Inside the Real US Ground War On ISIS

IS struggles to retain grip as it loses ground in Iraq
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and she complained that "all your songs are morbid". This is manifestly untrue, and to prove it I reached into my mind for a preschool song. Not the one about the ducks, it makes Eva cry, so... okay, the one with the green and speckled frogs.

Nothing doing. Apparently that song is about the evils of peer pressure. It took me five minutes to stop laughing.
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Two Girls, a Golden Balloon, and Fate

What Happens If You put Dry Ice into Slime?

Inside the World's Only Surviving Tattoo Shop For Medieval Pilgrims

Fruit flies help explain differences between males and females

The Detectives Who Never Forget a Face

Bird nest riddle: Which shape came first?

Fifth force of nature? Light particle may be key to understanding dark matter in universe

The Battle Over Net Neutrality Started With the 1920s-Era 'Hush-A-Phone'

Romance novellas by women in Nigeria challenge traditions

Companies Can’t Legally Void the Warranty for Jailbreaking or Rooting Your Phone

Digging for Glory

Study: Catalog of DNA variations helps find roots of disease

Stealing bitcoins with badges: How Silk Road’s dirty cops got caught

A Father Vows To Save His Daughter From A Marriage He Forced Her Into

US organ network mapping a path to fairer liver transplants

The Leak Prosecution That Lost the Space Race

The bizarre tale of President Nixon and his basic income bill

The Forgotten Tale of How America Converted Its 1980 Olympic Village Into a Prison

We’ve Stopped Translating Children’s Books Into English. Where Will We Get the Next Tintin?

By many measures, Milwaukee is toughest US city for blacks

Black incarceration hasn’t been this low in a generation

Sheriff Joe Arpaio to face criminal charges (Oh, I can't tire of this news!)

Are We Losing the Grand Canyon?

This Lifesaving Medicine Unleashed a Global Poo Menace

Louisiana Loses Its Boot

Texas has highest maternal mortality rate in developed world, study finds

America's wealth gap is split along racial lines — and it's getting dangerously wider

The Problem With The DOJ’s Decision To Stop Using Private Prisons. The private prison industry will still have access to its biggest cash cow: immigrants.

In Turkish sweatshops, Syrian children sew to survive

Hard Times in Venezuela Breed Malaria as Desperate Flock to Mines

Philippines drug war deaths climb to 1,800; U.S. 'deeply concerned'

Is Angela Corey the Cruelest Prosecutor in America?
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"But the school year hasn't started yet!"
"Yes, well, CNN Student News is airing again, and that's good enough for me."

Surprisingly, this argument was good enough for them too. I kinda pulled it outta my ass....
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which ones would you pick? Public domain preferred, but if there's a super great anthology out there, I'm good with that too.
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Who's there?
September 11th.
September 11th who?
And you swore you'd never forget!
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'Islam for Dummies': IS recruits have poor grasp of faith

In Dallas, police serve as 'glorified social workers' to solve city's ills

People Fear The Heat Will Turn NYC Into A Hellscape Of Flying Roaches

The Coup May Have Failed But Fear Still Rules Turkey

Turkish police raid Istanbul courthouses, more officers detained

Public space in Turkey is central to the government’s power grab

Fruits of labor: sunny California is no paradise for farm workers

As Earth warms, Americans more polarized than ever on climate

Louisiana water's deadly rise: 'We're praying it stops'

Nigeria riven by new battles over scarce fertile land

What It Takes to Clean the Ganges

After deadly Milwaukee police shooting, protests intensify

The life and death of Luis Góngora: the police killing nobody noticed

Islamic State faces uphill 'branding war' in Afghanistan, Pakistan

The world is getting better at paid maternity leave. The U.S. is not.

When children are killed by bullets, grieving parents are often the focus. Yet there are other vulnerable survivors: the young brothers and sisters left behind. Theirs is the untold story of this American tragedy.

The people of Hebron, the largest city in the West Bank, live hemmed in by Israeli checkpoints and guns. For some, they have proved fatal.

Banned from working, asylum seekers are building Japan's roads

Why Are So Many Inmates Attempting Suicide at the California Institution for Women?

South Africa marks mine shootings, workers still in squalor

Poll: Most Americans support U.S. military action in Syria — but only want a limited amount

Fighting Intensifies as Putin Sends More Troops to Ukraine

Rodrigo Duterte is living up to his promise to fight crime by shooting first and asking questions later

Violent protests have erupted in Mali. Here’s what is driving them.
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Synchronized Swimming Has a History That Dates Back to Ancient Rome

Vintage Photos Show Daredevil Mountaineers

Scientists capture neon in an organic environment for the first time

Finland, Home of the $103,000 Speeding Ticket

World's largest vertical farm grows without soil, sunlight or water in Newark

Gaming using a stretchy touchpad

Why Fire Makes Us Human

Watch: Pooping Comb Jellies Just Upended Gut Evolution

The 6 Most Insane Pooping Strategies Dreamt Up By Evolution

Whirlpool Put Laundry Machines In Some Schools And Increased Attendance By 90%

Once Skeptical of Executive Power, Obama Has Come to Embrace It

America’s Electronic Voting Machines Are Scarily Easy Targets

A Long-Lost Manuscript Contains a Searing Eyewitness Account of the Tulsa Race Massacre of 1921

Crowd At Trump Rally Realizes They’ve Been Chanting ‘We Are Frightened And Helpless’ For Last Half Hour

The violence, insecurity, and rage behind the man who has replaced Gandhi as the face of India.

America's Addiction to Mercenaries

Bid for freedom: rescuing trafficked fishermen as they dock in Cape Town

The New American Cop: Smarter, More Diverse, Better Equipped and Scared

I'm a Judge and I Think Criminal Court Is Horrifying

Texas lawyer who lost all death penalty cases says he's done

Venezuela Is Descending Into Chaos. Now This Issue Is on America’s Doorstep.

How do Americans view poverty? Many blue-collar whites, key to Trump, criticize poor people as lazy and content to stay on welfare.

Thousands return to Manbij after IS militants flee city
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(Dear Liza, dear Liza?)

Also, if I were Henry, I wouldn't hang around after that last verse. I'm just saying, that's the sort of conversation that can only end badly.
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Humans pack an efficient bite, but at a cost

Chilli-powder condoms, firecrackers boost Tanzania elephant protection

The Sharks That Live to 400

Cloud Atlas 'astonishingly different' in US and UK editions, study finds

The Single-celled Organism That Almost Wiped Out Life on Earth (Video) That video reminded me of this fic

The Death of Flair: As Friday's Goes Minimalist, What Happens to the Antiques?

In a race for Cheetos, magpies win, but crows steal

How BuzzFeed's Jonah Peretti Is Building A 100-Year Media Company

Nature, not nurture, defines cricket social networks

How the Vikings started the worldwide distribution of gaited horses

Total number of neurons -- not enlarged prefrontal region -- hallmark of human brain

Professional Poo Diver (Do not read while eating!)

Studies shine light on mysterious placenta, how it goes awry

Black science fiction writers face 'universal' racism, study finds

Science Isn’t Broken: It’s just a hell of a lot harder than we give it credit for.

Smile! You've got cancer

Not all is green in Mexico City's Aztec garden district

White Noise in the ‘Conversation’ About Race

The Republican War on Public Universities

How the Trumps Got Rich

Gone: The race to stop the fungus killing millions of bats

Overseas travel warnings about USA mount

Lesbian, gay, and bisexual high school students are significantly more likely to be the victims of physical and sexual violence and bullying than other adolescents, according to new government data. (Not exactly a surprise, but ugh.)

Some Women Won’t ‘Ever Again’ Report a Rape in Baltimore

Damning Report Finds For-Profit Prisons Are More Dangerous

Flint Is Family

As of the latest estimate, 2.1 million West African children still do the dangerous and physically taxing work of harvesting cocoa. What will it take to fix the problem?

El Chapo and the Secret History of the Heroin Crisis

‘They’re Coming for the Ones You Love’: My Weekend of Gun Training in the Desert

Fractured Lands: How the Arab World Came Apart
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Or read the news, or garden, or whatever I like. Or go with my mom to the doctor some more, of course.


Notorious Victoria: the first woman to run for president

Early brain connections key to reading

Pimp My Nursery (Kidlit Style)

Orangutan able to guess a taste without sampling it, just like us

These Crows Were Discovered Crafting Tools to Reach Food

In IVF, Frozen Embryos May Lead to More Live Births than Fresh Embryos

Revisiting America’s master musical miniaturist, Scott Joplin.

Hawaiian petroglyphs revealed by shifting sands on Waianae coast

Schools in Denmark Teach Students Empathy From a Young Age

Poll: Young Americans overwhelmingly favor LGBT rights

Transgender on the Force

How a Deadly Camping Trip Revealed an Arms Race Between Snakes and Newts

The race to save a dying language

Chilling mountaintop find may confirm dark Greek legend

This article will make you want to wash your hands

Researchers crack open unusually advanced malware that hid for 5 years

High risk of modern slavery in nearly 60 percent of countries, global index finds

Justice system too costly for unconvicted

Report blasts Baltimore police over racial bias, force

The Department of Justice is making police report officer-involved killings for the first time

Study: High levels of toxic chemicals in drinking water of 6 million Americans

Louisiana Sheriffs Hid a Gun That Could Free a Man and Then Blamed Hurricane Katrina

These Are the Red Lines Europe Won't Cross in Brexit Talks

Out of sight, out of mind? Europe's migrant crisis still simmers

Climate change already accelerating sea level rise, study finds

Is America Any Safer?

Russia announces war games after accusing Ukraine of terrorist plot

Ethiopia says UN observers not needed as protests rage

Libyan official: '70 percent' of last IS bastion liberated

Intensifying fight for Aleppo chokes civilian population
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Asthma pill could prove 'game-changer' for people with severe symptoms

Bookworms, Rejoice: You May Live Longer

How to Give Rural America Broadband? Look to the Early 1900s

Maya tomb uncovered holding body, treasure and tales of 'snake dynasty'

The Government Just Won a Long Legal Battle Over Rare Coins

Cyborg stingray swims toward light, breaks new ground

Intelligent people tend to be messy, stay awake longer, and swear more

If You Find the Hidden Cat in This Image, Your Prize Is an Image of a Sleepy Cat

Baby’s Cells Can Manipulate Mom’s Body for Decades

The fatal hike that became a Nazi propaganda coup

Anti-LGBTQ Activists Are Beginning To Realize ‘We Don’t Win Anymore’

Poll: Gun controls embraced by young adults

'You think I'm mad?' – the truth about psychosomatic illness

Most Of Us Are Blissfully Ignorant About How Much Rancid Olive Oil We Use

The Original Underclass

Meet the elite chiefs who revolutionized policing nationwide, for better and for worse. Now they want to do it again.

Thai voters overwhelmingly approve junta-backed constitution

A Surreal Life on the Precipice in Puerto Rico

2 Jailers Moved Into Policing Jobs After Bland's Death

In a state bloodied by decades of armed rebellion, Thounaojam Herojit became one of India’s most deadly policemen – killing more than a hundred people. This year, he became something rarer still: an executioner who wanted to tell the world about his crimes

Smuggling surges in Greece as migrant frustrations grow

Jets pound rebels after they break Aleppo siege
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I probably find this XKCD funnier than it is.

Sunflowers move by the clock

America's First Medal at the Nazi Olympics Was For...Town Planning

The doctor who beat big tobacco

Dark Ages Palace Unearthed At King Arthur's Alleged Birthplace

Desert elephants pass on knowledge—not mutations—to survive

Forget Frozen, Lilo & Stitch is Disney’s best exploration of sisterhood

Perry Rosen has always loved tinkering with jukeboxes. The spectacle of the mechanized movements, the golden oldie tunes and the bright lights captivated him. He got his first machine when he was a teenager and then turned his hobby into a career. Now, he's one of the last jukebox repairmen around. (Video)

Yiddish has a word for it: Gitl Schaechter-Viswanath of Teaneck finishes her father’s Yiddish dictionary

Do trees communicate with each other?

How one little graphic became shared and adapted by millions

Do black holes have a back door?

Norway Proves That Treating Prison Inmates As Human Beings Actually Works

America seen from abroad: arrogant, nice, tech-savvy, free

Asian giant honeybees may move in synchrony to ventilate nests

Scientists Chart The Lifetime Of A Bee In Flight Paths

Why bad ideas refuse to die

Chinese team says it found evidence of mythical great flood (Quick, nobody tell Ken Ham!)

This Smithsonian scientist’s death was a mystery; 150 years later, his skeleton helped solve it

The Brain That Couldn’t Remember: The untold story of the fight over the legacy of “H.M.” — the patient who revolutionized the science of memory.

A Jewish Commodore Saved Monticello, And His Family Got Hell for It

Why the President Needs a Council of Historians

Spider sharing isn't always caring: Colonies die when arachnids overshare food

The U.S. coast is in an unprecedented hurricane drought — why this is terrifying

The Octopus Conspiracy: One Woman’s Search for Her Father’s Killer

How a Notorious Racist Inspired America’s National Parks

China's crackdown raises familiar specter of foreign forces

Yellow Fever Is Completely Preventable, So Why Are Millions At Risk?

US poised to hit Obama's target of 10,000 Syrian refugees

Anti-Semitic incidents rise 11 percent in UK this year

Nature's 2016 resource 'budget' already used up, report says

The village where dozens of young girls have been raped is still waiting for justice
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Ana: You... say "whatevs"? 0.o
Me: Um... yes? What of it?
Eva: Really?
Me: I love that word! Whatevs. It's a perfectly cromulent word, guys!
Them: I guess....


I feel the same way about that word as my mother does about "duh". To this day, she will occasionally interrupt herself to declaim on the glories of the word "duh". She says she has no idea how they spoke before they could just say "duh".
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Their lessons have the simple piece for the learner which is supposed to eventually be played with the teacher doing a more complex part an octave below. So, you know, it sounds like actual music.

Either my vision is worse than I thought, or that notation is a lot smaller than it ought to be. I actually don't know which. So instead I'm holding it and doing one hand at a time and memorizing, which is more or less what I used to do as a child, but. Still.

Note to self: Make appointment at optometrist.


The Strangely Perplexing Problem of Communicating Numbers Out Loud

'Red gene' in birds, turtles suggests dinosaurs had bird-like color vision

Homes in wealthier neighborhoods found to harbor more arthropod species

America's Largest Outdoor Theatre Event Features 700 Lip Syncing Mormons

Birds engage in all types of sleep in flight, but in remarkably small amounts

Solar-powered televisions brighten homes in rural Kenya

11 Ways To Get a Letter from the White House

The Rise and Fall of Ski Ballet

Chemists create vitamin-driven battery

For Decades, The Ultimate Midwestern Summer Job Was Headhunting Fireflies

I Can't Stop Reading One-Star Yelp Reviews of National Parks

A Reptile Dysfunction: Over the last three decades, massive sulcata tortoises have become a popular American family pet. Meet the people who made that happen — and the ones that are begging you not to buy one.

The Disrupters: Making New York’s Cultural Boards More Diverse

Is Earthly life premature from a cosmic perspective?

A Day in the Life of Brazil's Insane Bureaucracy

The buzz around America's favorite workers grows louder every year. Is it drowning out the real story of our food system?

Making Algorithms Accountable

Body Count Rises as Philippine President Wages War on Drugs

Dwindling prey bad news for big cats, wolves

Bird-friendly yards have a major downside — for birds

Underreporting of Zika is rife; researchers project epidemic's spread in certain countries

Substitute teachers and replacement nurses may cause disease to spread faster

The US Government Is Literally Arming the World, and Nobody's Even Talking About It

Chicago's 'Skullcap Crew': band of police accused of brutality evade discipline

The Unforeseen Consequences of Banning the Box

"He Weighed 71 Pounds. That Was Like Somebody Starving."

Libyan forces wary of Islamic State redoubt despite U.S. support

The Scale of Turkey’s Purge Is Nearly Unprecedented

Venezuelan women seek sterilizations as crisis sours child-rearing
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First, run to the doctor, get all records and a neatly typed list of instructions. Then run to Regional Radiology with records in tow (in a CD form, so why they can't email this I don't know), get redirected three times. Fun!

Today they called back and the records were missing something important, so Mommy asked me to do it again this week later. Honestly, it was enough of a pain when we had a ride, but doing it by bus is going to be killer. WHY THE HELL CAN'T THEY EMAIL IT?

Well, Regional Radiology did have a nice patch of purslane, so I got some for my salad, there's that.
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How the Venomous, Egg-Laying Platypus Evolved

Some Microbes Have Been With Us Since Before We Existed

A new leaf: Scientists turn carbon dioxide back into fuel

ASU biochemist invents a more comfortable condom

The (Mostly) True Story of Helvetica and the New York City Subway

Disney movie sparks a chess boom in Uganda

States' flag-burning laws unconstitutional, but persist

Set It and Forget It: How Default Settings Rule the World

Democrats demand Congress end its vacation to approve Zika funding

Storing carbon underground may be safer than we thought

Still waters: U.S. to crack down on ocean noise that harms fish

How Abigail Adams Proves Bill O'Reilly Wrong About Slavery

The ‘smoking gun’ proving North Carolina Republicans tried to disenfranchise black voters

Where Is Escaped Polygamous Cult Leader Lyle Jeffs?

What My Divorce Taught Me About Latent Sexism In The Financial System

NY caretakers say they are being punished for complaints

Houston is the fourth-largest city in the country. It’s home to the nation’s largest refining and petrochemical complex, where billions of gallons of oil and dangerous chemicals are stored. And it’s a sitting duck for the next big hurricane. Why isn’t Texas ready?

Turkey culls nearly 1,400 from army, overhauls top military council

After Yemeni’s 13 Years in Guantánamo, Freedom for the Soul Takes Longer

Syrian Rebels Launch Push Aimed at Breaking Aleppo Siege

Syrian families trickle out of Aleppo, reports say

Ukraine prisoners held by Russia and separatists are forgotten


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